OKAY. I'M BACK. NOW MY CANADA CONTINGENT CAN QUIT BADGERING ME. (Okay, my Canada contingent is Jen.) (Still.) (The woman can badger like you cannot believe.)
Seriously, I have other websites. I have a school blog (which was only for one class and I think I'll be deleting it soon), a Googlepages page that is for family and close friends, and a Facebook page. You can have my Facebook address, if you want. I mean, the people I know. You guys can have it. That guy who keeps sending me pictures of his feet? He can't have my Facebook address, because it has my whole name on it.
This "I'm going to be a teacher" thing can be tricky. Because y'all like it when I curse like a sailor but you don't want to think about your child's teacher talking about sex toys, right? There you go. So I'm trying not to have my last name associated with this blog so that future employers, if they Google me (and doesn't everyone these days?) won't find this blog.
Speaking of sex toys... there are several places in greater Atlanta where you can comfortably buy sex toys. Yeah, I know, I get the Adam & Eve catalog but I'm all about the immediate gratification. This led to the following conversation with my friend Jane:
Stacy: I keep having to walk past the drug deals when I go to Inserection so I'm going to Poster Hut.
Jane: I've never been to the Poster Hut.
Stacy: I like it more than the others because you can also buy scented candles.
Jane: Right, it adds an air of legitimacy.
Stacy: Precisely. I'll take some Sandalwood incense, a couple of birthday cards... and this cock ring.
Jane: Wouldn't it be great if they also sold gum and a gallon of milk?
Stacy: I'd never go to Publix again.
Apparently my daughter is the Whore of Babylon. There have been three incidents involving nudity and/or kissing on the Pre-K playground, all with the same boy. Fortunately it's the same one that she insists she's marrying. Still. I've had multiple conversations with the boy's Mom and we're in agreement that the teachers are making WAY too big an issue out of this, that it's fairly innocent but needs to be stopped. We're trying not to give them any kind of sexual hang-ups, but SERIOUSLY, Sweet Pea, KEEP YOUR PANTS ZIPPED.
So I ended the semester with three A's and a B+. To celebrate, I dyed my hair purple. Because I'm 38 years old, have a mortgage and a 3.83 GPA. I can do whatever the hell I please.
Of course, I'm taking Geometry and Statistics (AGAIN, WTF) this summer, so my GPA may drop faster than Lindsay Lohan's panties.
New Shrink had a field day with the purple hair. I finally told him that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and not to worry too much about it.
I'll also be spending my summer at the local man-made beach with Sweet Pea. We will swim and laugh and I cannot wait.