So this weekend we went to a birthday party at Pump It Up. I managed to show both my age and my ass at this party by 1) repeatedly telling the other Moms I was going to Pump! Them! Up! and 2) forgetting that it wasn't an actual birthday party, it was a "Pre-K Graduation Party" because the hosts are Jehovah's Witnesses. So I show up with a gift wrapped in 'Happy Birthday' paper and a birthday CARD. I bought an actual CARD, people. I was so proud of myself. Fortunately the kid's Mom was cool about it when I apologized for insulting their religion.
Sweet Pea's teacher was invited to the party (causing an entirely new internal debate: was I supposed to be inviting teachers all this time? CRAP!) and I had the opportunity to talk to her for a while. I knew she was from the Middle Easternish region of the globe but I'd never questioned her further. Naturally I waited until school's actually over, right? She's been responsible for educating and taking care of my child and I wait until now to find out about the woman's life. Add it to the list of things I'm going to MomHell for, along with teaching Sweet Pea the lyrics to 'Rehab.'
Anyway.
Turns out that Sweet Pea's (former) Pre-K teacher is from Iraq. I took this opportunity to ask her some pretty direct questions about the war and it was very enlightening.
Ms. S (I'll protect her anonymity until I get the okay to do otherwise) has a four-year degree in Civil Engineering and her husband has a degree in Mechanical Engineering. In Iraq they were considered quite well off. She was making the equivalent of $200K a year, they had (still have) two homes in Iraq. In 1996 she and about 7000 other engineers had been working on some rebuilding projects that caused frustration on the part of Saddam Hussein and he decided to kill them all. The American Government got wind of it and, since she was working on a project for Americans, offered to get her out of her country. Two days later she left with her husband and three children. They left their homes, furniture, cars, friends and family. Saddam never followed through but I'm guessing if you have an internationally despised tyrant threatening your life you can't be too careful.
Once Ms. S and her husband got to Georgia they tried to get Engineering positions. However, they had no friends in the right places to help them and ended up working minimum wage jobs. Ms. S finally decided to work in the daycare center where her son spent his days. Obviously, these days as soon as engineering companies see the Iraqi citizenship they have suddenly "filled the position."
Ms. S wants to move home. She still has those two houses (in northern Iraq) and family and friends there. However, her daughter has married an American man and won't go back and her middle child is graduating from high school in a year. Last year she went back to Iraq for a visit and was offered another great job. She wants to go home. She wants to have the lifestyle and respect that her education and work experience should grant her.
I asked her what her general feeling was about the war. She said that the Americans have done a great thing in getting rid of Saddam and his sons. They were pure evil. The same amount of Iraqi citizens were dying as there are now, tortured and murdered by Saddam.
She feels very sad about and almost personally responsible for the loss of American lives. She has a son in high school , she understands that these soldiers are someone's children. She admits that there is no good exit strategy and wishes that the Americans had followed through in 1991. She said that the Iraqi people were really ready to overthrow Hussein at that time and that morale is very different now than it was then.
I asked her about the insurgency and she had some very interesting hypotheses. First, she doesn't feel that these attacks are masterminded by Iraqi citizens. She said, "Iraqi people don't kill other Iraqi people." She pointed out all the other countries that fund these people -- Iran, Turkey, Syria. Her money seems to be on Turkey being responsible for most of the worst. She believes they are funding the insurgency with both money and warm bodies.
I then told her my favorite "Here's my overentitled American opinion on the war" statement, which is that we should have finished in Afghanistan before going into Iraq. She interrupted me and said, "Stacy, you can never finished there." Al Qaeda? The Taliban? I asked incredulously. "No. You cannot begin to understand the brainwashing. These are young men who believe that dying and killing other people is their highest goal." She pointed out, correctly, that people who ARE in their right minds (and this proves that frankly, she doesn't know ME all that well) cannot come close to understanding this and that there is an endless supply of young men indoctrinated in their early childhood, willing to die for their cause.
I wish I had started this dialogue at the beginning of the school year. I've been mulling over this conversation for two days now and I have more questions than I did before. Fortunately, Sweet Pea will be with Ms. S for two days a week this summer while I'm in school. I can keep mulling.
What about you? Any questions for Ms. S? I can ask her and bring the answers back here. If you could honestly ask an Iraqi citizen a question, what would it be?