Here's a short list of things I thought about doing an entry about:
- My seriously stupid math professor. Y'all... seriously.
- How my brother-in-law rocks because I've been driving his truck for over a week.
- How I don't have the skillz to park a Ford F-150 in the school lot so I'm having to park in the really expensive lot.
- How Jason sucks at IM'ing.
- How Showtime's new show, 'Dexter' is one sick motherfucking show and I LOVE it.
Here's a partial list of songs I want sung or played at my memorial service:
- Calling All Angels by Jane Siberry
- The Rodeo Song (Pete, I'm trusting you to sing this and leave in EVERY curse word)
- Prayer by Lizzie West
- Doxology (Paul already has instructions about this)
I want to be cremated with a memorial service about six weeks later. I think that hanging onto the ashes is gross, but I can see where having them might be therapeutic, so that's up to DJ. When he gets the ashes, I want my family members and closest friends to sit around and do shots of tequila while telling stories about me. Then about six weeks later a memorial service. This gives everyone lots of time to prepare fabulous videos of my photos and video moments. I want Jane to direct the service because she'll make sure that Pete really gets to sing every curse word in 'The Rodeo Song'. I can see it now:
Jane: No! Stacy was very specific about this!
Rest of Civilization: It will be a memorial service, and using the phrase "You piss me off, you fucking jerk, get on my nerves" in a song will be entirely inappropriate.
Jane: Fuck civilization! They don't FUCKING know Stacy at ALL, those stupid dickheads.
Pete: (with a look of admiration toward Jane) Whatever. What I do up on the stage is up to me. Just make sure Civilization doesn't try to turn off my mike, okay?
Civilization: (flouncing away) (Because Civilization is a big fat BABY about these things) You better warn the parents so they can cover their children's ears.
Pete: You mean it's not an audience sing-along? Damn. I'm gonna have to re-think this.
*****
Why doesn't Caribou Coffee have bouncers? They might have been able to prevent the obnoxious redneck who informed me that North Korea had succeeded in doing a nuclear test "in direct opposition of American orders." DAMN! When will the world stop doing whatever the hell they want? Further, he said "We should just go nuke those commies now because they've got the bomb." Wait... so if we nuke them, does that mean WE have a bomb, too? Hmm. Finally, he told me it was "just a matter of time until they bombed Los Angeles" and that the reason there was no traffic downtown today was that "everyone knew what the North Koreans did and they're afraid." Nothing to do with that silly HOLIDAY, I'm sure. Bouncers. Caribou needs bouncers.